Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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