he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
