What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
