Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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