I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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