Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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