i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It's like God shit irony all over that family
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
