Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
