BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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