Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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