He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I love you.
Bad choice
Two words: nipple clamps
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