i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She even gives head with a lisp.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
