i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
