Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
