Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I bet he comes in French.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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