this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
