That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
