so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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