yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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