Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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