A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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