i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
