I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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