SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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