doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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