dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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