So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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