Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
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