i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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