Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
