Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
