You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
How external is "for external use only"?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
