You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
