Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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