You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
