There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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