You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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