I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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