The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
