Kiss
Puke
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
