i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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