i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
