Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
