I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize