he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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