...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My vagina just recognized that song.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
