That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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