I love black thongs
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
