Duck Duck Cougar?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
