We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
