If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
