It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
