would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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