she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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