I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize