You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
