The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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