and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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