May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
