return my video game
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize